Posted by: irisgodd3ss | November 10, 2007

The Thing About Dreams

A long time ago, I dreamed. I dreamed for an escape from the corporate hell I was in. I dreamed about writing, traveling, independence, and being a free spirit, coming and going as I pleased. I dreamed about finding the love of my life, or at least, a man who was good to me, somebody I could love and who’d love me back. I even dreamed about Thailand. In short, I dreamed of a life that was better than what I was living.

And dreams do come true. I’m living my dream down to a T. I earn good money writing freelance. I’m having the time of my life traveling to places on a shoestring. I’m in love with a man who’s crazy about me and in a relationship where our worst fight constituted of me texting him in the middle of the night because of a panic attack. We even have the most perfect living arrangement for two people in a relationship imagineable – same building, different floors. In short, I’m living the life I was dreaming about.

It’s all so incredibly idyllic. I know I’m lucky. Not many people get the chance to live their dreams, but I was lucky enough to live mine. I’m happy, I really am. Too happy, in fact. So much so that I’m starting to feel a little bored, a little empty. I lie awake at night thinking that I want so much more, except I don’t know exactly what it is I want because I have everything that I thought I wanted.

I feel terribly ungrateful and downright horrible. Is it me? Is it my cynicism and infamous drama queen-ness that’s making me feel this way? Or is it human nature to be inherently discontended, to be forever looking for validation and the very vague and rather obscure concept of “something more”?

When you’re finally living your dream, is it time to dream of something else?

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Responses

  1. aaahhh… i missed your blogs iris! it’s been a while since you last posted something… i know how it feels to want something more out of life.. even when you’re actually living your dream, there will always be something missing…. *sigh* but i envy you, girl.. not all dreams come true….

  2. Hey, Imai! Look who’s talking. You haven’t been writing. I know cz I’ve been looking. LOL. 😉

    Ahhh, well. Sometimes I just find myself wondering how long it’ll last. A rather scary and disconcerting thought. 😦

  3. Hi Iris, I wish you wrote more – I like it… I’m still in the south of TH and wondering what you’re up to – no post in 3 weeks! I decided I’d look for a freelance writing job to supplement my nothingness and I remembered you said you found one. Would you refer me to the co. you use? If you know of any others, that’d be great too – my email is with this post – or it’s aimforawesome at gmail. Thanks. Write more! Vern

  4. sigh….


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