Iris Is On Fire

I’m a strange girl. I laugh a lot. I laugh at everything and I laugh at myself. I’m no party girl. I rarely go to bars because it gets old. I go to the beach a lot. I love traveling. One day, I will backpack through Europe. I don’t mind toughing it up, just as long as there are decent toilets around. I rarely drink, mainly because I can’t stand the taste of liquor. I have a thing for tequila and it usually gets me in trouble with inappropriate men. I smoke but I’m not a smoker. I smoke when I’m with friends or when I need a break from work. I don’t crave cigarettes. I play poker but I’m not particularly good at it. I have a religious commitment to stilletos but lately I’ve been wearing flats because there seems to be something wrong with my feet.

I’m terrible at finances. I somehow always end up overspending. I work in Quality Assurance. I’m sick of the corporate life but I’m stuck here for now. I write. I believe I’m quite good at it. Its my voice. I would fight for the people I love. I am loyal to my family and friends. I love the way I look. I love the color of my skin. I know I’ll never be skinny and I’ll always have a few extra pounds but I couldn’t care less. I am quite independent. I can take care of myself just fine. I could be surrounded by people yet still feel lonely. I’m my own person. I’m a bit of a disaster and a bit of a screw-up. I am scary and damaged but I try to be bright and shiny. I’ve never really cared about what people say about me. I think people are too wrapped up in their own lives to think about mine.

I always try to get what I want and almost always succeed (especially with men). I’m manic depressive. I’m sad most of the time. Its a disease. I have a borderline personality. My condition is textbook. Think Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted. I am promiscuous but I’m not easy. I’m very picky so don’t even think that I’d do it with just anybody. I am addicted to toxic and unattainable men. I don’t fear failure. I hate secrets. Secrets should always be out in the open so people don’t hide behind them. I’m terrible with secrets, especially my own.

I prefer knowing instead of wondering. I believe that even the worst failure or the biggest mistake beats the hell out of never trying. I have faith in goodness. I used to believe in happy-ever-after but I realize it doesn’t exist. Life will always give you crap. What matters is that its happy-right-now. I am very appreciative of the little things and I find peace in knowing that I just can’t know it all. I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end, we don’t.